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I Don't want to be bothered!
Last week when picking up my child from school, a worker in the after school program was out at play with her class. One on the students a little boy maybe 1st grade had ran off from the play area by a tree, as the worker came over to talk with him to see what was wrong he covered his ears ad to say I don't want to talk. She was there several minutes trying to find out what was wrong, he even ran around the other side of the tree and then ran across the play ground. What should she have done to control the issue? |
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Solution 1
Posted February 13, 2013 9:07 am |
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I actually work in an AfterSchool Program, so I can most certainly relate to this situation. I of course would first do exactly what the a counselor in the situation did. I would see the little boy run off to the tree, and immediately walk over to see if I could find out what was wrong. I would get down at eye level with the young man, because it always helps if you can make yourself less intimidating. I know one day when I was watching over a Kindergarten class, I had a young boy so upset over a young girl that was teasing him, and he never would have been comfortable telling me what was wrong if I hadn't got down to eye level with him, because I am 5'11 and to a small kid that is very tall. If the young boy continued to walk to the other side of the tree, like the boy in the scenario did, I would simply step a few steps back. You don't want to push the child to run away from you if you can help. I would offer the child some options. First, I would try to get the child out of such a vast area like the field or playground by saying "would you like to go inside where you could get a drink of water, and a snack until you are calm enough to tell me what is bothering you"? Hopefully this would work. However, kids are completely unpredictable, so you must always have a back up plan. For younger students, I always kept scratch paper on my clipboard and a pencil, and when something was bothering them, I would offer for them to take my clipboard, pick a bench on the playground (or where ever we were located), and draw a picture/write out in words what was bothering them. This helped them a lot because sometimes they needed time to think about how to phrase what was bothering them. Sometimes they just wanted to write on my clipboard, and sometimes they just needed that time to cool down. Either way, the student was preoccupied, I knew where they were located, and they were calming down. I hope this solution is somewhat helpful to you the next time this situation occurs (if it occurs)! |
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I liked how you mentioned that you would take a few steps back if the child kept going on the tree. I feel that will be the child feel more comfortable with you and like you mentioned they won't run away. |
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Posted on: February 25, 2013 10:50 am
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I think these are really great suggestions. You cannot hover over a child or force them to talk to you. They need to feel comfortable and not pressured if they are going to open up. |
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Posted on: October 19, 2014 11:28 pm
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You handled the situation very well. Getting down to eye-level and giving the child space are wonderful techniques that I plan on using in the future. |
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Posted on: July 9, 2016 3:38 pm
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Love these suggestions! |
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Posted on: November 6, 2023 1:39 am
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Solution 2
Posted December 11, 2012 11:41 pm |
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i can understand the concern of the teacher but after asking the boy what was wrong and he said he didn't want to talk she should have let the boy clam down then if the boy continued to not want to explain what was wrong she should have told an administrator when they came in from outside. its hard keeping control when you are outside kids smell fresh air and its like the charge scene from brave hart. the easiest way of keeping control of your outside time is to designate activities if a child chooses not to participate without a reason then there is cause for concern. |
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I think the teacher has room for concern for the student but she cannot force him to tell her the problem. Sometimes it is best to let to student cool off without hasseling them with questions. Students will handle their problems in different ways. If a student wants alone time while they are upset it is important to respect their wishes as long as no one is in danger. After a while the student will calm down and she can talk to them at that point in time. |
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Posted on: February 11, 2013 10:04 am
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I agree that the teacher needs to give the child space to cool off and clear his/her mind. If the child was being a distraction to the class, that would be one thing, but he wasn't. The student will talk when he or she is ready. |
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Posted on: February 11, 2013 12:47 pm
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I agree that the teacher needs to give the child space to cool off and clear his/her mind. If the child was being a distraction to the class, that would be one thing, but he wasn't. The student will talk when he or she is ready. |
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Posted on: February 11, 2013 12:47 pm
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Solution 3
Posted February 18, 2013 1:34 am |
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I firmly believe in letting a child have a moment to cool off. Sometimes, just like adults, they need a moment to breathe, to gather their own thoughts, and to step away from something upsetting. Forcing a child to talk about it or getting upset with them when they don't only makes matters worse, so I think she should have stepped away and let him have a moment to himself. |
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Solution 4
Posted February 16, 2013 4:53 pm |
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Rather than chase the child around the playground, she should let him know that she cares about him. She should tell him that she wants to know what is bothering him and he can come tell her whenever he is ready to share. She should then go somewhere else and do her job, but with a watchful eye on the boy to ensure he is safe from bullying or other dangers. |
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Solution 5
Posted December 9, 2012 10:16 pm |
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I think she should have contacted an administrator to let them know first off that there was an issue. She then should let the child calm down and try to approach him later on to see if she can address the issue. |
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Solution 6
Posted February 18, 2013 8:59 pm |
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The worker could have told the child if he didn't want to talk, he could go back to the play area or stand with her until her until he was ready to talk. Especially if this was a safely concern, I would want the child to be close to me. If the child chose to stand with the worker, I would not try to talk to the child for a couple of minutes. When the child's body language lightened, I would ask if he was ready to talk. If not, I would tell the student that it was okay to not want to talk. However, i would tell the student if he needed to talk to someone, I would be there to listen. I would then casually bring it up the next time I saw the child. I would just quietly ask him if everything was alright and if he wanted to talk. I would also alert the parents to the situation just to keep them informed. |
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Solution 7
Posted February 11, 2013 3:11 pm |
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I believe that the student should be left alone after the teacher asked him what was wrong the first few times. The child could be embarrassed and wishes not to share or maybe he just wasn't to talk. The teacher should respect his wishes and let him be. If she spends too much of her time with the child, then who is supervising the other children? I believe that it is best if the teacher would return back to the group of students but keep her side eye on the the student by the tree or at least ask him to move closer to her. Maybe once the students come in from outside, he may feel more comfortable talking. |
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Solution 8
Posted February 24, 2017 4:49 pm |
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Walk away and monitor the child from a distance. |
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Solution 9
Posted February 26, 2019 4:08 am |
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she could tell the student that she is there for the student if they want to talk but give the student some space. Let the student know where they are standing and if they need them just to let them know. |
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Solution 10
Posted March 2, 2020 9:39 pm |
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At first, I would have given the child some space, then asked the child to come to play with me or try and sit down and figure out what was wrong. |
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Solution 11
Posted April 17, 2022 9:52 pm |
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If I was the teacher, I would've stayed with the student if I was still able to observe the rest of the class. If there was another student by themselves, I could have the two play together instead. If the problem continues, I think the teacher should speak to the parents to see if there are any conflicts at home. |
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Solution 12
Posted November 4, 2022 12:16 am |
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Sometimes giving the child space to process is the best solution, as long as no one is getting hurt I would tell him I am here when your ready to talk about it. |
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Solution 13
Posted November 6, 2023 1:38 am |
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I think allowing time for the child to settle down and when they are ready to talk then try again! |
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Solution 14
Posted October 3, 2016 8:21 pm |
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This can be hard, but you have to be there for them |
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