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Posted on September 28, 2015 7:15 pm
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LeqeHe
LeqeHe
Reps: 203
Sexist Parent
I have a male student that works very well with the other boys in the classroom but when it comes to working with the girls he says a lot of sexist comments such as, "Why do you even try when you're just going to end up in the kitchen." I asked for a conference with the parents and found out that the father has been teaching him very sexist things. He continuously disrespected me and told me that what his son was saying is the truth in the end. His mother was not there and so I felt very uncomfortable and very mad that his father was treating me this way. I have tried contacting the mother to try and get her to come in but she constantly cancels on me and does not respond to any of my emails or notes. What should I do?
 
     
     
 
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Solution 1
Posted October 1, 2015 8:05 pm

Holly Ebbert
Holly Ebbert
Reps: 225
In this situation you should request another conference with both parents and have another teacher preferably male or an administrator to help with the conference. I think it will be beneficial for the father to hear you out with support from your teacher peers, but also that his son is not doing very well with participation and he needs to be able to respect other students in the classroom.
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Comments posted for this solution

eZuGeQ
eZuGeQ
Reps: 200
I found this solution very helpful.
  Posted on: October 15, 2015 4:24 am

ymuXyg
ymuXyg
Reps: 100
Talking to both parents separately seems like a good solution.
  Posted on: October 18, 2015 5:35 pm

TeLuXa
TeLuXa
Reps: 100
Having an administrator there seems best.
  Posted on: October 13, 2020 1:29 am

puRyMe
puRyMe
Reps: 101
This solution is good
  Posted on: July 19, 2023 6:22 pm

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Solution 2
Posted October 2, 2015 2:38 pm

uWaQyr
uWaQyr
Reps: 100
In this type of situation I would call for another conference and insist that both parents attend. Even if the mother cancels again make sure to have another teacher in the classroom this time. Preferably a male administrator, guidance consoler, or just even another male teacher. If this does not work for the parents then try and break the habit for the student. Move him down on the behavior chart after every sexist comment. Either way it sounds like it may take some time to get this issue to pass over.
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eZuGeQ
eZuGeQ
Reps: 200
I like the idea of having another teacher in the classroom during the conference.
  Posted on: October 15, 2015 4:25 am

puRyMe
puRyMe
Reps: 101
That's a good idea, so that others can hear the things said.
  Posted on: July 19, 2023 6:23 pm

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Solution 3
Posted October 25, 2015 3:53 pm

vapaju
vapaju
Reps: 127
The fact that this student is belittling other is a non-negotiable in the classroom setting. After clearing this with your administration, I would notify the parents and the student that such comments are a type of prejudice and sexist comments. Therefor they are under the bullying umbrella. With this said, further disrespectful comments will be written up and disciplinary acts will be taken. Be clear on the boundaries of what an individual family believes and what is allowed in the public school setting.
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Kady Schlemmer
Kady Schlemmer
Reps: 202
I agree, there needs to be accountability for this student.
  Posted on: July 9, 2016 8:46 pm

puRyMe
puRyMe
Reps: 101
There definitely needs to be consequences.
  Posted on: July 19, 2023 6:23 pm

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Solution 4
Posted October 5, 2015 11:06 pm

WeHypa
WeHypa
Reps: 80
I think having both parents attend the conference is a great idea and having someone else sit in on the conference. Unfortunately it is impossible sometimes to change the beliefs of parents and the best way to deal with this is to talk to the student about that sometimes it is okay to say things at home that are not okay in a school setting because they hurt people's feelings. I would also maybe think about adding some famous females to your curriculum if at all possible to help teach the student that woman can make history and become great things.
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meXyHy
meXyHy
Reps: 158
An interesting and insightful solution.
  Posted on: October 15, 2015 9:57 pm

uzyXuV
uzyXuV
Reps: 208
That's a great idea to show respect and admiration for woman in the curriculum. The teacher has an opportunity to show the student a different perspective than what he sees at home.
  Posted on: October 16, 2015 9:22 pm

Hannah Poore
Hannah Poore
Reps: 200
I love the idea of adding famous women into areas of the curriculum. It may be too late to change the views of this student's father, but showing him examples of powerful and important women both in history and present could be very effective in changing the child's view on the topic. Although it is unsettling that he would have these viewpoints and make negative comments about women, if this is the mindset that he was raised around it would be hard to blame the child for such thoughts. Show him that what he has learned at home is not necessarily correct.
  Posted on: February 22, 2018 12:59 am

aLureP
aLureP
Reps: 100
Adding famous females is brilliant!
  Posted on: October 15, 2018 1:04 am

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Solution 5
Posted October 18, 2015 4:22 pm

PyNaTy
PyNaTy
Reps: 103
In this case I would call another parent teacher conference with both parents. I would also have in attendance the school resource officer and his guidance counselor to help explain to student and his parents that such behavior is not acceptable in the classroom.
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Solution 6
Posted February 24, 2017 3:49 am

ZaBuBy
ZaBuBy
Reps: 200
This is a major issue that needs to be addressed with parents and tell them that attitude will not be allowed in your classroom.
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TeLuXa
TeLuXa
Reps: 100
I agree that the attitude should not be allowed.
  Posted on: October 13, 2020 1:30 am

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Solution 7
Posted March 1, 2016 4:48 am

aryBaV
aryBaV
Reps: 125
Obviously the students is getting it from somewhere, and my guess would be at home so a parent conference might not be the best solution, the father proved that point. As a teacher this situation is taking place in my classroom and I would make it my job to stop it. I would suggest doing an age appropriate unit on jobs that people do, male and female. And then pull the student aside and let him know that while he is in the walls of your classroom everyone will be treated equally or there will be consequences.
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Solution 8
Posted October 12, 2015 11:43 pm

Xyraju
Xyraju
Reps: 101
I would immediately go to the guidance counselor. This is completely inappropriate and unacceptable.
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Comments posted for this solution

eZuGeQ
eZuGeQ
Reps: 200
I think that a guidance counselor could help in this case.
  Posted on: October 15, 2015 4:25 am

uzyXuV
uzyXuV
Reps: 208
I think the first step is talking to the parents about son's behavior in the class.
  Posted on: October 16, 2015 9:24 pm

yJuhuv
yJuhuv
Reps: 100
I would not do this.This is wrong.
  Posted on: October 14, 2018 9:29 pm

TeLuXa
TeLuXa
Reps: 100
I think administrator would help more than a guidance counselor.
  Posted on: October 13, 2020 1:31 am

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Solution 9
Posted July 7, 2019 11:02 pm

agedyQ
agedyQ
Reps: 211
Unfortunately women still do not have all the respect that they deserve and we still have sexist people out there, so it might help if a male teacher or administrator was present for the next conference. Hopefully you can have a conference with both parents
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TeLuXa
TeLuXa
Reps: 100
I agree! Having a male administrator is best.
  Posted on: October 13, 2020 1:31 am

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Solution 10
Posted October 9, 2019 11:18 am

ePyguj
ePyguj
Reps: 101
That is absolutely crazy! I would have a conference with the parents and an administrator, preferably male since the father is sexist and teaching his son his sexist ways. I would also try to correct the boy in class when he says those things or incorporate examples of influential women in whatever subject(s) you teach. It could be an everyday thing where you sit around together for 5 minutes to learn about a new person and the majority of them could be women and POC. Just a thought to try to subtly reverse this child's thoughts.
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Solution 11
Posted April 4, 2022 3:00 am

RaMaMa
RaMaMa
Reps: 102
Luckily enough the situation is not unsalvageable. He will need to relearn and that is not 100% on you, but do not try to take full responsibility given his father.
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Solution 12
Posted March 7, 2016 12:17 am

Hunabu
Hunabu
Reps: 100
I would definitely talk to the guidance counselor and find out from them on what ways they would approach this situation in communicating both with the parents and the child.
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TeLuXa
TeLuXa
Reps: 100
I agree with going to someone else to help but I don't see how a guidance counselor could help.
  Posted on: October 13, 2020 1:32 am

puRyMe
puRyMe
Reps: 101
a guidance counselor could find the root of the child's comments.
  Posted on: July 19, 2023 6:25 pm

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