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Unbearable Behavior
I have been having a difficult time with one of my students. He is the child of a migrant family. Before my classroom, he attended two other schools this year. Although his grades are pretty decent, his behavior has been unbearable. He is disruptive, he bullies other children, he hurts others on the playground, and he uses profanity. I tried many different strategies with him including rewards for good behavior, creating behavior contracts, time outs, and talking, I have not been successful. A few times I tried to call his parents to have him talk to the parents about his behavior, I could not reach them. This week I sent two notes to his parents asking them to meet with me to discuss his behavior; they refused to meet with me. They told their son to tell me that they have to work during day time and they had no time to meet. I understand that they are hard working people but shouldn't they make an effort help me with their child's education? Do they not care? What should I do? |
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Solution 1
Posted December 9, 2012 11:20 pm |
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First, you need to document everything. I suggest going to the administration for advice and support. Also, I think that you should try sending a note home asking if you could meet after school, even if it's really late. Explain to the parents how important a meeting is for this child's academic success. I think that some sort of in school suspension or even out of school suspension is on the horizon if things don't change, so definitely go to your principal for advice/support on this issue. |
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Solution 2
Posted December 5, 2012 10:06 pm |
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If you aren't getting results after trying all these things make sure you are talking with your administrators. Usually phone calls from the front office have a little more effect on parents sometimes than teachers can. Tell the parents that you would be glad to meet anytime before or after their work. If they can't come to you, take an administrator and go to them. The parents act as if they don't care, but truly they do and they are probably at their wits end and need some guidance also. |
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Solution 3
Posted December 8, 2012 9:15 pm |
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You did the right thing by trying to contact the parents after all of your other attempts were not successful. I would have to take this situation to the administrators. I would explain that I had made every attempt to contact the parents about their child's situation and they basically neglected to respond. I would then emphasize that the child is hurting other children which could cause bigger problems. Hopefully, the administration can contact the parents and a solution to this problem can be found. |
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Solution 4
Posted December 7, 2012 5:28 pm |
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You have tried to contact in many ways by calling, sending home notes, etc. I think it's time to take it to administration. The parents obviously aren't listening to you, maybe they will listen to the AP or principal. They can't find the time to come meet with you to discuss their child's behavior, or even talk to you on the phone? What are they going to do when their child gets suspended and they have to miss work then? Also, if he's bullying that much and hurting other students, he should have already made at least a few trips up to the office for that kind of behavior. For students like this in my county, we have to keep an FBA (Functional Behavior Assessment) on the student to document behaviors, antecedents, consequences, student reaction. Then take it to an SST. That will hopefully get the parents attention. If they don't watch out, their child could be headed for EBD, and no one wants to see that happen. So, document, document, document all you can, and talk to administration to see what they next step should be.
Also, you care otherwise you wouldn't have even gotten into education. You know deep down that this child is probably crying out for attention since his parents are so busy. That's a big reason I would hate to see him end up in EBD when a lot of the problem stems from the parents actions, or lack there of. |
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Solution 5
Posted December 10, 2012 12:03 am |
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Sometimes it is not that a parent does not care. Often times the parents are so caught up in making sure that there is a house with a roof, food to eat and hot water in the shower that parent teacher conferences seem like an obligatory waste of time. I would think that the parents of this child have tried to handle his behavior problems on some level. But it is also apparent that his behavior is not isolated to school alone. He probably acts out and misbehaves in the same manner at home. Keeping an open dialogue with him and trying different ways to break this cycle is more beneficial than coddling him or just simply giving up. I would think that his behavioral problems have deep roots and it would likely be a more fast acting idea to have him see the counselor. He or she can be intellectual in breaking through to him and getting him to settle down in class. |
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Solution 6
Posted December 8, 2012 8:17 pm |
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I would send a note him with the student asking his parents when is it best to meet with them because it's important we meet regarding their child behavior. I would then have a talk with the student and ask him why is it that he acts out and bully others. I will ask him how he would feel if others bully him. I will tell him I don't accept his behavior and if he continues he could get expel from school or even kick out for good. I will tell him I don't want any of those things to happen, and I believe he could be a great student. |
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Solution 7
Posted December 9, 2012 5:03 pm |
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I would discuss it with administration and the counselor. If he is bullying, than he has been bullied himself. Having the student speak with the counselor is oftentimes helpful too because they tell them things that they may not feel comfortable with you. I would also have him write a paragraph on what makes him happy and use those things to help learn more about him. |
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Solution 8
Posted December 1, 2012 9:42 am |
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I would consider trying to have regular conferences with the student to see if maybe a sense of trust could be established and if he would eventually open up about home life or whatever else that may be causing his behavior. If this did not work, I would also consider looking at any writing samples, artwork, or assignments of the like to see if he has expressed himself in any way. If there still has been no improvement and the behavior continues, I would consider a second opinion from a school counselor to determine if further steps need to be taken on her end. |
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Solution 9
Posted December 4, 2012 6:01 am |
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You said the magic words: he bullies other children, he hurts others on the playground. As a parent of one of your other children, I would hold you responsible if my child is injured due to your lack of action. Suspend this child until his parents come for a meeting (after work would be OK with me) The parents work so they don't want their child during the day, enlist there help to suppress their childs behavior. Tell them you will seek help from the local authorities if further bulling occurs. In other words convey to the parents that you will take action which can effect their work if they don't help with their childs action. Society is on your side, bullying is no longer considered child's play. That firm action before a student is hurt. |
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Solution 10
Posted December 7, 2012 2:21 pm |
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After talking to the student and contacting the parents, the next step is to go to the administration and maybe the counselor. It may help for the counselor to pull the student out of class and spend one on one time with the student until a cause can be determined. If the students likes to be pulled out to talk with the counselor, use it as a reward for good behavior. If the student doesn't like talking with the counselor, use it as a punishment for bad behavior. |
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Solution 11
Posted March 13, 2015 7:29 pm |
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This is situation has occurred in my classroom. The good thing is the solution I had worked. I would suggest to contact the parents and have a positive outlook on the child and the situation. There has to be something positive to say about the child. Then along with the administrators and other school personnel address the problem and solutions you have come up with to help the student. Let the parents know you care as a teacher and you are there to help their child. |
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Solution 12
Posted December 6, 2012 10:35 pm |
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While I think talking to the parents was a great first move, it is clear that they are not interested which may be part of the problem with your student. Something deeper is going on with the student and I think that by showing the student that you care about him and really do want him to do well in your class, you can gain his trust and make progress with him. |
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Solution 13
Posted December 8, 2012 3:21 pm |
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This is a difficult situation. First you should try meeting with the student's parents after school hours or when it is convenient for them. If the student continues to act out, take disciplinary actions. Take away his privileges such as recess, student outings, and assign him detention. If he continues to act out send him to the principal's office. |
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