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Not A Poor Loser.
I teach in an urban elementary school where most of the children are on free or reduced lunch. Most of the students live close to the school, but we have a small number of students from middle socioeconomic status who are bused from nearby neighborhoods. Most of these students do not qualify for free or reduced lunch. When Josh joined my 5th grade classroom two weeks ago, I handed him the free/reduced lunch coupons to be submitted to the lunch room personnel at lunch time. What I did not realize was that Josh did not qualify for free or reduced lunch but I simply made the assumption that he did because most of our students do. When Josh saw the coupons he asked me what they were and I told him what they were. He said, in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, that he was not one of those poor losers who had to get government's help. I was surprised to hear such a thing from a 5th grade student. I told him that what he said was wrong and hurtful but he did not seem to care much. I wondered if he learned these types of things at home. Because his classmates heard what he said, they have not accepted him as a friend. Josh now is an isolated child. I have to deal with this issue. I have to find a way to bring Josh and the rest of the class together but I don't know where to begin. Do I begin with Josh, or the other students in class? How do I fix this so that all students learn some good lessons about tolerance? |
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Solution 1
Posted December 9, 2012 9:59 pm |
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I would tackle this as a whole class. If you single Josh out, it is only going to alienate him more from his classmates. I would present lessons on different socioeconomic statuses. I would also explain to your students that they are all kids and that they have no control over the financial statues of their families. I would also teach the kids that we cannot make stereotypical judgements. We may have no idea the hardships some people have faced that have led them to be on assistance such as free or reduced lunch. |
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Solution 2
Posted December 7, 2012 10:10 am |
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One possible solution is for the teacher to collaborate with the school counselor to determine possible steps of action. It is important for teachers to remember there are other resources in the school that may help. The counselor could also talk with the entire class about tolerance in general. If this doesn't work, the teacher may need to talk with Josh alone and the class seperately. |
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Solution 3
Posted February 12, 2013 11:52 am |
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As I just read in one of the articles about diversity, stereotypes are common and can even be accidental. In this case, you were probably trying to get this new student involved in the classroom as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, making a simple mistake caused for the opposite to happen. He was wrong for calling out such a hurtful thing but his feelings may have also been hurt when you assumed he was just like others in your class. I would start with the young boy and tell him you apologize for making the assumption but that the things he said hurt some of his classmates feelings. I believe once you talk to him and help him understand the situation, he will want to apologize and the other students will most likely accept him into the classroom family. |
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Solution 4
Posted December 7, 2012 12:14 pm |
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I think it is important for the teacher to speak with Josh about his comments and whether or not he understands how what he said was hurtful and inappropriate. If he does not understand, I would speak to his parents out of concern for both his understanding of what he said and because he is being isolated because of his comment. If he does understand, I would suggest for him to apologize to his classmates at recess or a time when they can see he means it to hopefully allow him to become part of the group again. |
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Solution 5
Posted December 9, 2012 12:43 pm |
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At my school, all students are given a free/reduced lunch form no matter what their status may be. I think that Josh should be pulled aside and explained that being given this form does not mean he is poor; it is just a form that goes home with all of the other school forms. Also, I agree that the teacher should discuss with Josh how hurtful his outburst may have been to other students and how it could have made him seem like a snob or someone who thinks he is too good for others. Kids do not liked to be looked down on for things that they can not control, which is probably why they are excluding him from their groups. Josh needs to apologize to the class for his comments. |
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Solution 6
Posted February 12, 2013 11:51 am |
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As I just read in one of the articles about diversity, stereotypes are common and can even be accidental. In this case, you were probably trying to get this new student involved in the classroom as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, making a simple mistake caused for the opposite to happen. He was wrong for calling out such a hurtful thing but his feelings may have also been hurt when you assumed he was just like others in your class. I would start with the young boy and tell him you apologize for making the assumption but that the things he said hurt some of his classmates feelings. I believe once you talk to him and help him understand the situation, he will want to apologize and the other students will most likely accept him into the classroom family. |
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Solution 7
Posted February 12, 2013 11:52 am |
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As I just read in one of the articles about diversity, stereotypes are common and can even be accidental. In this case, you were probably trying to get this new student involved in the classroom as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, making a simple mistake caused for the opposite to happen. He was wrong for calling out such a hurtful thing but his feelings may have also been hurt when you assumed he was just like others in your class. I would start with the young boy and tell him you apologize for making the assumption but that the things he said hurt some of his classmates feelings. I believe once you talk to him and help him understand the situation, he will want to apologize and the other students will most likely accept him into the classroom family. |
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Solution 8
Posted December 9, 2012 4:36 pm |
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I think I would start the conversation with why he thought he was being isolated from the rest of the class and how that made him feel. I would then go into why what he said might have hurt people's feelings and why they might be hesitant to be his friend. I would try to do all of this through questioning so that he would figure out the answers on his own. I would then try and address any feelings he might have about his moving process and him starting at this school because there may be deeper motivations behind what he said. He may be experiencing difficulties adjusting and coping with being at a new school. I would also address this with the parents. |
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Solution 9
Posted December 8, 2012 9:31 pm |
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I think you should sit Josh aside and explain to him that what he said was hurtful and wrong. Even though there are poor students in the class it is not okay for him to yell that out. Let him know that it is not their fault of the situation that their in but their still human and they still have feelings. He needs to apologize for his behavior to you and to the entire class. He has to show his classmates that he understands what he has done is wrong. The only way he will gain their friendships back is to apologize. I would ask the school counselor to attend the class. Some students including him may need to talk the situation out. Take the entire or half the class period to discuss this problem. |
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Solution 10
Posted December 7, 2012 12:43 pm |
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I think this matter should be brought to the attention of Josh's parents if possible. I would request a conference to discuss this matter. If this is not helpful, I would take the opportunity to integrate this topic into a class discussion. I would explain to the students that everyone in America comes from different backgrounds. People can't control what type of financial situation they were born into. These government programs are designed to assist families that aren't as fortunate as others. Josh's comments were very inappropriate but he can't control what he's been taught any more than the other students can control their financial situations. I would design a lesson on tolerance. These students need to be accepting of each other and their differences of opinion. I would steer the class discussion to help the students realize that as 5th graders, they have no control over their personal situations and no student should be judged based on this. |
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Solution 11
Posted December 8, 2012 10:30 pm |
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First Josh has to understand that even though he does not qualify, he needed to take it home and have his parents look at it. Sometimes students do not understand if they truly need help or not; they just make that assumption. However, since this happened, the students and him need to understand that sometimes there misunderstandings. They need to see what they have in common instead letting a misunderstanding come in between them. Josh needs to understand that just because a classmate needs additional help, it does not make them a bad or poor individual. |
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Solution 12
Posted February 12, 2013 6:32 pm |
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I think you should first have a conversation with Josh, but not in front of his classmates. Explain to him that all students at the school are given the same lunch information because some of the students need assistance. However, the students who need assistance are not different then he is. These students are at school to also learn an education. Explain to him how simple outburst like he had can cause other students to judge him just as he judged them. Also, Josh needs to understand that not everyone can help the fact that they are in need of financial assistance. The students parents could have recently lost their job or had a death in the family and need help because lack of income. Josh also needs to be aware that the government is here to assist families in need and if his family was in need they would be there to help them as well. Encourage Josh to try and interact with his fellow classmates and if they have comments about what he said then for him to apologize to them. |
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Solution 13
Posted March 7, 2021 9:09 pm |
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I would dress both the class and the student. Give him some examples that let him realize the situation, and educate the class on respect and judgement. |
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Solution 14
Posted November 6, 2023 2:03 am |
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I would start by having a class discussion and maybe even a talk with the student individually. |
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Solution 15
Posted December 8, 2012 1:49 pm |
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This problem is the teacher's fault because he assumed that he was getting free or reduced lunch. I think that the teacher should have a personal meeting with the student to apologize, and also to explain that having government help is not necessarily a bad thing. Hopefully the one on one meeting will help eliminate the problem, and then after the students may be more willing to accept the child. |
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Solution 16
Posted December 8, 2012 8:26 pm |
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First, I would have a class discussion. I would have Josh come up in front of everyone and apologize for the comment he made. Then I will tell my students that I am sorry as well for the unacceptable statement Josh had said earlier in the day. I will then tell my students that it's okay to have free and reduced lunch. And regardless of their situation I am their teacher and there to teach and help them. I will tell them that NOONE is a poor loser or loser at all. Also that we should not call other names or discriminate others because they receive free or reduced lunch. |
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