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Mom is too busy
In my Kindergarten classroom I have a repeating student. This year his mom is a single parent. He is one of 3 children in the home. His mom works 2 jobs to be the sole supporter for the family. She us unable to attend most functions at school such as class parties and award ceremonies. My student gets very sad when other parents are there and his mom is not. As a result he shuts down. He won't do his work, he acts out, and he cries. His mother is aware of the issue but is not in a position to make changes to her work schedule. How can we help this child not feel let down and insignificant? |
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Solution 1
Posted February 19, 2015 1:19 pm |
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Is there no other relative that could come? Such as grandparents, aunts, or even older cousins? If not you said their are two other children in his home, do any of the other attend the same school? If they do I would let the other children come in for the functions but for allotted time so the other child's learning is not being disruptive. In addition I would try working on some elf esteem exercises or talking to a counselor. |
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Talking to a counselor is a good idea. |
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Posted on: February 27, 2015 9:30 pm
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I always recommend using your resources. |
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Posted on: February 25, 2018 7:57 am
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Solution 2
Posted February 19, 2015 3:40 pm |
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You could offer to videotape award ceremonies and send them home with the student. It is hard for a child to feel alone. AT this age they may not understand the circumstances. Another option could be to allow his siblings, if they are in the same school, to attend the functions with the student. This situation occurs often and solutions may be difficult to find. |
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I love the idea of video taping the award ceremony and it may be a possible for the school to give the mother advanced warning of the event and help her to video tape a response for the child as well. |
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Posted on: February 27, 2015 3:52 pm
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Video taping is a good idea, great suggestion. |
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Posted on: February 27, 2015 9:30 pm
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Solution 3
Posted February 20, 2015 6:55 pm |
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If the student still does not have other family members who are able to attend class gatherings. Then the student could be "adopted" by a family in their class for the particular school function. It would be best for it to be with one of the students friends, and to talk to the parents beforehand about it. That way the student feels included. |
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Solution 4
Posted February 22, 2015 1:27 am |
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It is important, especially at this age, that all students feel that they, and their hard work, is appreciated and observed. This is probably why the student is shutting down--they feel as if no one cares about what he/she is doing so they don't feel the need to continue doing anything. Most schools have a mentoring program. I think that if the student gets a mentor, especially if it can be a female, this mentor will be able to take a lot of that pain away. The student will able to talk to them, the mentor can come to school functions when the mom can't, and since the student will form a tight relationship with this person, the student won't feel awkward or like a "charity case." |
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Solution 5
Posted March 1, 2015 5:50 am |
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You can let the child know that his mom loves him so much and is working so hard for him to support him. |
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Solution 6
Posted February 19, 2015 5:47 pm |
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This type of situation is hard, especially for the younger students like kindergarteners who are used to being around their parents more frequently. I would get int contact with the student's mother and ask if there are any other relatives who might be able to attend any of the ceremonies or festivities. You could also hold certain class parties, like a pizza party for good behavior, where it's just for the students. I think you could even incorporate this problem into your teaching by discussing different jobs. You could lead into a whole class discussion about responsibilities and how some parents stay at home, and some parents work. |
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Solution 7
Posted February 19, 2015 4:16 pm |
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I like the video idea! One option would to find a school volunteer to in a way adopt this student to where the volunteer commits to attend the extra curricular activities. |
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Solution 8
Posted February 22, 2015 2:55 am |
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I feel that perhaps a visit from one of his siblings during these meetings could cheer the child up as much as the parent. Have a discussion with the children that are in the school and have them get excited to attend each others' functions. |
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Solution 9
Posted March 15, 2015 3:08 pm |
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I have so many of these cases at my school. From my experience, my "busy" parents are usually my lazy parents who are hiding certain aspects of the home life. My parents who are single and have a very hectic work schedule usually have other family members already designated to take care of certain matters. I would take that child under my wing and offer as much support that you can without getting into trouble. If the parent is outright refuses to be involved in any way, I honestly have gotten a social worker involved when my busy parents do not respond to any form of communication (school events, discipline issues). I especially have gotten a social worker involved when the students is constantly acting out or not completing assignments resulting in poor grades. |
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Solution 10
Posted February 24, 2016 1:27 am |
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I would involve the mother as much as possible. There is so much technology that the mother can be included and sent videos. I would also encourage the mother to invite another family member to participate in the students' school life. |
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Solution 11
Posted October 7, 2017 5:38 am |
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Remind the child that you are there for them and they are extra special because they have you to attend these events with. You can only make up for what the child is missing and remind them that they are special, maybe see if the siblings can attend to make the student feel better. |
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Solution 12
Posted March 7, 2021 8:35 pm |
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This can be very difficult because, of course, the student would like their mother there at the functions. However, this is where a relationship with the student could become present. They would like an authority figure giving them praise so when they are doing well, the teacher can easily praise them and say even a 'good job.' The teacher is always at these ceremonies and a 'I'm proud of you" can go a long way in the child's self esteem and feeling as if they are important and doing this work to make someone proud. When there is not one person, others may need to step up. |
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