Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Go Back                 Case Posted on March 11, 2015 11:54 am Add to Favorites yQaran Reps: 100 Am I a Boy or Girl? We have student who is a girl. She dresses out in the girls locker and by every document she is classified as a female. Recently, she dropped the "f" bomb in class and I spoke with her about this behavior and how it is unacceptable and offensive. I told her that it sounds so trashy coming from a young lady's mouth. Her response to me was, "I am not a girl." A few days later, she turned in an excuse and where her mother had written "her" or "she", she crossed out and put "him" or "he". What are some suggestions on how to handle this? Because it is clear that her parents are unaware of this situation.                 Submit a Possible Solution Please read response(s) below (if any) before posting your solution.                 Solution 1 Posted March 15, 2015 1:20 am eXeNum Reps: 103 I would speak to the school counselor about it. They will have more experience and training in dealing with sexuality and gender issues. However, it would be beneficial during any future behavior incidents to avoid gender biases. Such appropriate behavior is wrong for any student, regardless of gender. Votes: +33 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution neHaGy Reps: 200 This is an great solution! i will definitely use this in my classroom.   Posted on: October 2, 2015 6:24 pm Kady Schlemmer Reps: 202 Wow, this is a difficult situation to be in. I agree, seeking help from a counselor would be the best choice. They will be better trained to help the student.   Posted on: July 9, 2016 8:29 pm Kathy Allen Reps: 200 Talking to other people in the school such as the counselor can help the student better.   Posted on: February 23, 2018 7:44 pm ePuzej Reps: 200 I think speaking to the school counselor is the best case. They are trained in this field. This is the best solution   Posted on: February 19, 2019 3:29 pm Add a Comment                 Solution 2 Posted March 12, 2015 1:46 pm Jordan Najafi Reps: 102 This is a very delicate situation to approach. Unless one is well versed in LGBTQ matters and terms, I would make a counselor and the parents aware of the situation. I would also look into the program "Safe Space." Students who face these issues are often very sensitive to any action that could be misconstrued as an attempt to make them feel one way or another. Votes: +6 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 3 Posted March 15, 2015 7:53 pm yTenyV Reps: 104 The counselor has been trained to address cases like this and would be the best person to go through. I would definitely contact the counselor and have a team meeting as well. Just let the student know that you are supportive and willing to listen and help. Votes: +5 / -1 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 4 Posted February 29, 2016 2:08 am Rachel Antis Reps: 205 I believe that the first problem is that the teacher responded by saying that cursing sounds trashy "coming from a young lady's mouth"; when, instead, they should have not specified gender and said that it is simply not appropriate. Saying that it is inappropriate for a young lady encourages the idea that young ladies do not behave a certain way and should adhere to a specific gender role. Now, it should be considered that this student is going through a time of change as well as finding themselves. Therefore they may be determining whether or not they identify with being a girl or a boy. I think that it is important that they are able to figure this out in a safe environment, so it may be best to refer them to a student counselor. It would also probably be best to allow the student to address this with their parents as they see fit, as this may be a sensitive issue that their parents do not agree with or accept. Votes: +3 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 5 Posted March 11, 2015 3:21 pm usyvaS Reps: 100 As a teacher, I would not address this with the student unless I have a rapport with the student. Even at the establishment of a teacher-student relationship, I would include the counselor at the school. It would not be something I would personally call the parents and disclose due to the sensitive nature of the issue. Before meeting with the student, I would let the counselor know the situation and ask if you could be included in the meeting because of course you are concerned as to what is going on and why this young lady is behaving as such. Votes: +2 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution neHaGy Reps: 200 This is an great solution! i will definitely use this in my classroom.   Posted on: October 2, 2015 6:25 pm meXyHy Reps: 158 If I were in this situation, I would exactly do this.   Posted on: October 15, 2015 9:36 pm eSyTyt Reps: 101 I would also use this solution in my classroom.   Posted on: October 16, 2015 2:31 am Add a Comment                 Solution 6 Posted October 11, 2015 7:28 pm dubaNu Reps: 190 I would speak to a professional such as the school counselor to get advice on your next step. Going strait to the parents of the child may not be the best solution. Votes: +1 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 7 Posted March 11, 2015 5:04 pm Kayla Conoly Reps: 129 This situation would be something for the counselor to help with. I would contact the counselor and relate the story. I would then follow up with the counselor to discover the outcome or what you need to do as an educator. Contacting parents could create an uproar the student does not want. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 8 Posted September 28, 2015 11:13 pm eduruM Reps: 100 Talking to a counselor to help the student may be the best option, especially if you are unaware of the LGBTQ terms and meanings. This may be a sensitive issue for her and her family so I think it is important to be delicate with the situation. You would not want to end up offending someone. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 9 Posted October 18, 2015 8:00 pm Qanuna Reps: 130 First, I think you should be careful with how you deal with this situation. Saying something like "it sounds so trashy" probably should not have been said. The parents may use that language at home and be perfectly find with it. The student using the "F" bomb should have been addressed with simply, that language is not tolerated in my classroom. In regards to the student and gender that should be taken up with a counselor or a conference involving the teacher, parents and counselor. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 10 Posted February 21, 2017 6:56 pm ytupyQ Reps: 208 Speaking to the counselor will be your best option for advice and help. Also if it was my class and student I would do a bunch of research. Look up blogs, youtube videos and articles. There are tons of advice for this. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 11 Posted October 9, 2017 1:16 am Travis Cannon Reps: 211 i would ask the guidance counselor first but, i would also call the parent and ask them if they refer to the student as a boy or a girl. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 12 Posted July 2, 2018 3:25 pm Markelle Maddock Reps: 100 Guidance counselors are trained in this area. I would refer the student to the counselor to talk and let the counselor know what is happening. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 13 Posted July 2, 2018 3:27 pm Markelle Maddock Reps: 100 Guidance counselors are trained in this area. I would speak to the guidance counselor about what is happening with the student and let them take over. Still make notes on the child's behavior because if this is how they feel, signs of depression could become evident. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 14 Posted February 23, 2019 9:01 pm upyWyH Reps: 201 I would avoid using any gender bias remarks and simply talk to the student about the situation and what pronouns they would like to go by. I would also contact the guidance counselor as they would have more experience with the issue, however I would not confront the parents yet because since the mother used the pronouns "she" and "her" and the student crossed them out and changed them to "he" and "him" the parents may not know of the situation or may not be supportive. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 15 Posted October 31, 2021 10:04 pm adeSah Reps: 201 For one, addressing the behavior in a gendered way is likely a lackluster solution regardless. I figure you would not let your male students say such words, so when addressing it as such it is best to phrase it regarding the behavior itself. In regards to their gender identity, I would suggest resources to help explore and support their gender identity. I would not reach out to the parents yet, as many parents are not supportive of their child's potential gender identity. Regardless, I think fighting their desire to express themselves may only result in more behavioral issues. The best solution in my eyes is to be supportive, as you will both make them more confident in their exploration of their gender identity, and have more ground to stand on when you suggest adjusting their behavior and language. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 16 Posted October 16, 2016 9:27 pm ytupyQ Reps: 208 I would start by having a talk with the student. After how that goes then talk to the parents and explain to them what is going on. She may be gender fluid and thats okay. Some people do not feel they are the gender that they are labeled as. Votes: +0 / -1 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 17 Posted October 8, 2017 11:29 pm eBenyL Reps: 101 Talk to the student about the letter and why they said they are not a girl and why they crossed out "her" on the paper Votes: +0 / -1 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 18 Posted October 2, 2015 11:21 pm reHuSe Reps: 101 I would make no assuptions about the student and bring the issue to a counselors attention and let them decide on the next course of action. Votes: +0 / -2 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 19 Posted March 12, 2015 12:03 am aNuLyB Reps: 103 I would definitely let the guidance counselor deal with this situation. Votes: +0 / -4 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution uzyXuV Reps: 208 I would go right to guidance counselor with this.   Posted on: October 15, 2015 4:08 pm Add a Comment                 Solution 20 Posted October 4, 2015 2:40 am uZyvaP Reps: 204 I would make the parents aware of the situation and then refer the student to the guidance counselor for further assistance. Votes: +0 / -4 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution uzyXuV Reps: 208 I would let the counselor contact the parents. They having training for situations like this and I wouldn't want to offend the parents.   Posted on: October 15, 2015 4:10 pm Add a Comment                 Submit a Possible Solution Please read response(s) below (if any) before posting your solution.