Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) When I was in middle school, holding hands with any other student was not allowed in school. Now that I am a teacher, I realize that this rule (that I thought was silly at the time) might have helped in minimizing these rumors. In this situation, I think it is important to talk with the two girls about why this rumor might have been started. If it was not a rule of the school, I would never ask the students to forfeit their cultural beliefs and stop holding hands. After this, I would lead a class discussion about how different cultures view actions differently. I believe that the students would have started this rumor simply because they are uneducated on the topic. By informing them of different beliefs, they might not be so quick to judge. This discussion might lead to a very interesting group project in which the students explore different cultures and their beliefs.