Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) This situation is tricky to deal with and isn't as cut and dry as it seems. First, is drawing attention to the girls what they want? Maybe they are ok with the rumors and just want to be left who they are. Also, would bringing attention to the situation really be helping things or making it worse? One solution is asking the girls what they want to do. Maybe they would be willing to do a project on their culture, and you could have other students do projects on theirs and it could be a group learning experience and no one would be singled out and no one would be left out. I think turning the experience into a teachable moment and a lecture would be selfish. 1) it's calling the students out and putting them in a awkward position where they are being identified as different and not like everyone else, and 2) is that really what they want? You can still accomplish understanding by doing a bigger picture lesson and giving them the chance to share their culture while not putting them on the spot.