Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I feel the same way as most respondents regarding this case. I think not only is it important to be culturally sensitive to the two girls and to make students aware of cultural differences, but it would also be a good time to discuss the effects of positive and negative social skills. Students need to see that what they say and what they do affect others in either positive or negative ways. Students who demonstrate positive social skills are held in high esteem by their peers and students who demonstrate negative social skills, like gossiping/spreading rumors are not. Social skills which are learned behaviors can/will affect all relationships in their future too, like work related relationships and even their spouse. There are numerous videos and activities available to teach social skills, but the best and most effective way is to demonstrate it. Let the girls hold hands, correct the poor social behavior, and let the girls assimilate into our culture at their own pace.