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  Case: Don't Hold Hands
Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice.
Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!)
This is a very hard situation to be in as a teacher. Middle school is a difficult time for students and some students can just be plain mean. I would deal with this situation first off by keeping Ade and Elsa's cultural background in mind. I do not believe making the girls stop holding hands is the answer. In a new school, their friendship is the only thing that is known and makes them feel comfortable. Asking them to stop something that is natural to them is only going to give them negative feelings toward school and their class. I feel like introducing their culture to the the class will help the other students see how normal this is in Indonesia and give them insight into cultures other than their own. Middle school is always going to be middle school and there are also going to be rumors and students being ugly. That is just the age that they are at. If this behaviors from other students continues, then I would take discipline matters with them.