Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I would use both options despite the fact that it may seem culturally insensitive. The students in the class need to understand the differences between mainstream U.S. culture and the cultural practices of Indonesia. Students should be taught about the importance of cultural diversity; however, just informing one or two classes will not change this behavior in the long term. If Ade and Elsa continue this cultural practice, they will eventually encounter the same problem somewhere along the line. If the two girls continue to feel ousted by American culture, they may completely shut themselves out to it and become bitter and resentful rather than assimilating and growing comfortable in their new environment. I would take the time to privately and gently counsel Ade and Elsa on the way that U.S. society views hand holding as a romantic gesture rather than as one of friendship. I would encourage them to embrace their cultural traditions as they see fit, but that they may be subject to similar treatment by other people both in and out of school because most people do not know the differences between the two cultures. By doing this, you are teaching your class the importance of understanding and being tolerant of other cultures, and you are also helping two immigrant children to understand that U.S. culture differs from what they know, which will help them make an easier transition into their new lives.