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  Case: Don't Hold Hands
Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice.
Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!)
This would be a perfect opportunity to have all of the students go through some type of sensitivity training. The teacher might arrange to ask the school counselor to have a series of discussions with the class about the effect thoughtless words and cruel labels can have on the affected individuals. Some students in the class might try explaining why they chose to label the girls' behavior in such a negative manner. The teacher might ask the class to empathize with the girls' position of being in a new environment and understand that their actions are considered perfectly normal in their native culture. Also, the girls may have been holding hands as a way of comforting themselves because they were feeling lonely. Such discussions would need to be carefully moderated by an adult to ensure a positive outcome occurs as a result of these student interactions. Additionally, the other students might be given an opportunity to learn more about other cultures and the customs associated with them by integrating them into class lessons.