Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I would first explain to the girls that hand holding America was viewed differently than in Indonesia. I would also explain that even so, that does not give other students the right to pick on them and call them names. In addition, I would ask the S.S. teacher to give a mini-lesson on two on different cultures and cultural beliefs from around the world. In this lesson differences could be presented to the entire student body in hopes that they better understand their fellow classmates who may come from different parts of the world. I also might ask the guidance counselor to speak with some of the ‘influential' students of the 7th grade about how they can be positive leaders to their peers. Going into details about student differences and why it is important to accept others who believe, look, or dress differently than what's expected. After all of these attempts at enlightenment, any students heard saying these remarks or calling names would be reprimanded according the school's disciplinary action code.