Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I believe that Ade and Elsa need to be educated on how friends interact with one another in America as soon as possible. I believe that this is a case where their culture could potentially cause Ade and Elsa psychological/physical harm. Ade and Elsa have to be taught what a traditional friendship in America is and what it looks like. They need to also be shown the many ways in which the typical friendship in American differs from those of Indonesia. They should be taught who in America holds hands and when they do it. I also believe that the school should have an assembly that celebrates culture and I would ensure that Indonesia is one of the cultures that are covered. I would also celebrate any other culture different from the dominant mainstream cultures of America today. I would educate and celebrate the differences of the students that attend our school every day. I would talk about the many ways in which their culture may differ from our own personal cultures. I would do this with every culture so that the school could begin to build a sense of universal acceptance. The students should understand that this is what makes our country so unique and special. Throughout the rest of the school year each classroom would be encouraged to celebrate their different cultures in some way, shape, or form. I remember doing this in 7th grade. One month we made traditional holiday desserts. Another month we played traditional sports and games (where I first learned about my favorite sport in the world...Rugby). Focusing on how different some cultures are from our own will hopefully shift the focus away from Ade and Elsa.