Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) Of course, telling Ade and Elsa not to hold hands would not be the option I would choose. I know rumors hurt, but they should continue to express their friendship the way that they usually do. Perhaps you can explain to Ade and Elsa that some students may not understand their cultural believes and take holding hands as more than friendship because that is what the culture here understands. Then they can decide if they want to continue holding hands to express their close friendship. This would be a great time to meet with the Social Studies teacher and discuss a possible project, if possible, for the entire 7th grade to help this situation. Perhaps the Social Studies teacher can assign a project where the students are placed in groups and research other cultures, mainly Indonesia, and compare some of the other countries' cultures to that of the U.S. Have things fro the students to include such as ways of expressing love or friendship. Have more than one group of 7th graders to research Indonesia. Have the class to present their report/project aloud. This could give the students an idea of respecting cultural differences. Another option would be to have a seminar on cultural differences for the middle grades. You or others can discuss the topic of multicultural beliefs and backgrounds and how it is important to respect each others differences.