Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) After reading I would agree with you on the first strategy. These students need a culture lesson on friendships in other areas of the world. Just as in our same country two friends in the North would hug and kiss each other on the cheek and other friends may give high fives or just use language to communicate a goodbye. Children need to understand that we treat our friends differently around the world. It seems like the easier route to tell the girls to stop holding hands, but that is treating them as unequal and not allowing the students to be themselves. In the year of 2014 students are able to speak aloud about their feelings and their beliefs. This should be an enrichment activity for students to research how other cultures around the world treat people. Not only could it be just on the issue of friendships, but as family and relationships as well. Just seeing how families live together in one household in countries and other families only have their immediate family live under one roof.