Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I think both options discussed should be utilized in this case. First, as a science teacher, it might not be appropriate for you to address the issue head on in front of the class as a mini lesson. I think you should talk with the counselor and social studies teachers and see if they can address the issue a little more subtlety within their curriculum. That being said, the issue of cultural differences should definitely be discussed here from both viewpoints. The 7th grade class should understand that Ade and Elsa come from a different culture and that in this culture, holding hands is a sign of friendship. It is hard for children to understand culture differences if they have never been exposed to them so it is important to explain and the use of pictures can even be used to give them more of a visual. I also think the issue should be addressed to the girls in that they should understand American culture. If they were told that the rumors are being spread because they hold hands, it is then their decision as to whether or not they want to continue this sign of friendship or adapt to the US culture. I think that if the girls should choose to continue holding hands and rumors continue to be spread, then the issue should be addressed by administration. No one should be persecuted because of the cultural beliefs and they should be free to exercise these beliefs as long as they coincide with the rules and expectations of the school system.