Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) This problem presents the teacher with a great opportunity to teach students about cultural diversity. Clearly the teacher has taken time to learn about Ade and Elsa's personal background as well as cultural norms in their country. The teacher should ask the class to think of how they define culture and create a cultural definition all of the students can agree on. Then the teacher can explain that Ada and Elsa have just moved to the U.S. and are learning about how to integrate their culture into the school culture thereby creating their own cultural identity as part of the community. The teacher should then teach the class historical and cultural information about Ada and Elsa's country. Ada and Elsa should be allowed to share information about their personal culture including hand holding as a sign of friendship. They should also be encouraged to tell class mates about U.S. or class cultural traditions which seem strange or different to them. This will help class mates understand why the two girls held hands and why it is acceptable to have more than one view. Then the class could do projects on how each individual student's personal family culture may be different from the classes overall cultural identity. They can also identify the numerous ways in which they show friendship to each other. By having an open discussion combined with guided instruction by the teacher the students will be able to learn from each other and will be more accepting of each other's diverse cultural practices.