Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) In this circumstance it would be very insensitive to try and get Ade and Elsa to conform the expectations of their peers. It would only serve to alienate them further from the society they are attempting to integrate themselves into. I agree with many others on this forum that the best course of action would be to devote a lesson to cultural diversity and attempt to broaden others students perspective and help them realize that there are other ways of seeing things. However, these are young adolescent children and often their world view is very narrow and limited to what gets them accepted by their peers. Therefore, I would also monitor the situation carefully in case of bullying being carried out by other students. I think you should also counsel Ade and Elsa on how to handle situaitons when others may say things about them or to them. Try to instill a sense of confidence in them. this is middle school and kids can be down right mean to each other, bullying is unacceptable but it isn't going to completely stop no matter the situation therefore a three pronged approach of teaching diversity and acceptance of others, as well as counseling Ade and Elsa on how to deal with bullying and being themselves, and monitoring the situation to address potential bullying directly will be needed.