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Case: Don't Hold Hands
Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice.
Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!)
I would do both of the things you listed. I would speak to Ade and Elsa personally and tell them about why the kids are saying these things by explaining what it means in our culture. Then I would also have a talk with the students on others cultures to explain why Ade and Elsa are seen holding hand from time to time. Let them share some of their culture with them and let the students see why it is important to them. Also like some others mentioned maybe bring up the bullying issue too because it is really what they are doing, it should be no big deal if they are holding hands, they have that freedom if they want to, just like they have the freedom to hold hands with a boy or whoever. |
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Rating
The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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Comments: |
Rated On: February 11, 2013 12:07 am |
Rated By: Sara Jernigan |
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Rating
The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
|
The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
|
The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
|
The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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The suggested solution is original |
Yes
|
Comments: Someone made a good point in another solution. Would addressing the entire class cause embarrassment to the girls? I said the same thing as you in my solution, but that comment made me think about it. However,I do agree with you that the teacher should speak to the girls apart from the class. |
Rated On: May 24, 2014 11:29 pm |
Rated By: Justin Redmond |
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