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Risking relationships for the sake of order
As a white woman, it take takes a while for some minority students to buy in to the mutual trust/respect needed in class. It has taken first semester to establish a trusting relationship with a group of African American girls in my 11th grade class. Now, we have a really great relationship, however, it seems like they are a bit too relaxed with me. They have a tendency to talk to each other at inappropriate times and often are distracting to others because of this. I've been very patient and have lightheartedly asked them to "bring it back in, girls", etc. to no avail. I have been wrestling with changing their seating arrangement to separate them all. They will be very angry about this. Do I risk it for the sake of order in the class or do I seek an alternative? |
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Solution 1
Posted March 11, 2015 3:26 pm |
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I've have this issue with my students because I am so young, but what I've found helpful is having a conversation and letting them know your issues. Express to them how you have built this teacher-student relationship with them, so you expect them to respect your authority as you respect them as students, so when you ask something of them, you expect it to happen. If they cannot handle this, then you will be forced to move their seat. If they choose to act out after this, then involve parents and administration because you have to maintain order of your classroom for your students to learn. |
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I would speak to these students first, and let them know the choice is theirs. They can respect your classroom or be moved from their current seating arrangement. |
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Posted on: March 11, 2015 7:31 pm
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I agree that this is an appropriate solution. I can identify with this situation and have acted in exactly this manner myself. |
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Posted on: March 12, 2015 7:46 pm
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Having a conversation with the, especially in light of the relationships you have built, is a great place to start. Let them know what their consequences will be, and let them choose the manner in which they want to respond to your requests. |
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Posted on: March 14, 2015 10:12 pm
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Solution 2
Posted March 15, 2015 1:23 am |
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Maybe discussing why their behavior is problematic is a good place to start. Having a conversation with them individually may help them see that you respect who they are and what they want, and they have an important role in how the class runs. Giving them a sense of equality and responsibility may help preserve your relationships with them and get your class back in order. |
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Solution 3
Posted September 28, 2015 6:44 pm |
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I know that this is a difficult topic to be dealt with. I think that talking to your students about the issue is a great idea. Students need to understand that classroom management is important. Expressing this to the students might help the behavior issue, and cause them to understand the importance of instruction time. |
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Solution 4
Posted October 9, 2016 1:11 am |
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I would change their seating. You cannot base your classroom management on what the students want. It is your classroom, own it and let them know that you are the teacher. They will get over it. |
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Solution 5
Posted March 13, 2015 3:43 pm |
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I say 100% yes!!! Order is a must for all students to be successful in your classroom and students must understand when certain behavior is appropriate and where boundaries need to lie. I had similar experiences with minority students in which I teach, specifically a case with a Hispanic student. It literally took months to build a relationship with him in order for to develop trust and communication with me. I developed a great rapport with him but then he began displaying that same type of behavior as above in class. I finally reached the point in which I had to pull him aside after class to address the situation. After explaining my concern he did become defensive but once I explained the disappointment I had in him with his behavior and explained the amount of respect I had for him, he immediately became remorseful because he did not want to disappoint me. In fact, he began asking me on a daily basis how I thought he performed in class that day! |
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Solution 6
Posted February 25, 2018 3:15 pm |
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You are their teacher first and a friend second. This is a boundary that needs to be established on the first day of class. You will need to reinforce this with the girls. If you have a personal relationship with them, then I would talk to them first and let the know that if the talking continues that they will be separated. You are doing this not for personal reasons but for respect for their classmates who are being disruptive. You can not let you personal feelings for students get involved for what is right. Remember, you have an entire class to consider as well. |
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Solution 7
Posted October 13, 2019 6:54 pm |
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You are not their friend. You are their teacher. Yes, you do want them to trust you for school related issues, but they should not feel comfortable speaking to you like you're one of the girls. Race should play any factor in being able to talk to anyone. |
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