Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Unclear Future In my many years of teaching high school, I have seen all types of students. Noora, a student from Pakistan, was one of the most special students. She was definitely one of the most intelligent I have had. She also had an extraordinary work ethic and interpersonal skills. When other students in her class had difficulty with any subject, Noora was there to help them. I thought she had a very bright future. Knowing her strong skills and knowledge in math and sciences, I thought she would go to a prestigious university. One day I decided to talk to Noora about her future plans and I was shocked by what I heard. She said that two months after graduating from high school, she was going to get married to the son of a family friend. She did not seem very disturbed by this. I went to talk to Noora's parents to explain to them what a great student she was and why they should reconsider their decision to marry her at such a young age. I told them that what they were doing was unfair. The very next day Noora's family sent a formal complaint letter to my school principal stating that I was being disrespectful their culture, and that it is their business to decide their daughter's future, not the teacher's. I was devastated when the principal informed me about this. I thought I was being a good teacher. I still do not want to give up on Noora's future. What should I do? Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I understand where you were coming from and that you had the best intentions for Noora, but I do believe that you might have overstepped your role. This scenario clearly falls into the category of someone's cultural background. Like I have said in previous posts, just because we don't understand or agree with someone's choices does not mean that we don't respect them. While I disagree with Noora's choice as well, I respect her decision to uphold her beliefs and continue the traditions that her family has taught her. Instead of talking to Noora's parents, I might have talked straight to Noora. Since she is about to graduate high school, she would be considered an adult and free to make her own choices. I would not have tried to talk her out of the marriage, but I would have explained to her the benefits of also continuing her education.