Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Unclear Future In my many years of teaching high school, I have seen all types of students. Noora, a student from Pakistan, was one of the most special students. She was definitely one of the most intelligent I have had. She also had an extraordinary work ethic and interpersonal skills. When other students in her class had difficulty with any subject, Noora was there to help them. I thought she had a very bright future. Knowing her strong skills and knowledge in math and sciences, I thought she would go to a prestigious university. One day I decided to talk to Noora about her future plans and I was shocked by what I heard. She said that two months after graduating from high school, she was going to get married to the son of a family friend. She did not seem very disturbed by this. I went to talk to Noora's parents to explain to them what a great student she was and why they should reconsider their decision to marry her at such a young age. I told them that what they were doing was unfair. The very next day Noora's family sent a formal complaint letter to my school principal stating that I was being disrespectful their culture, and that it is their business to decide their daughter's future, not the teacher's. I was devastated when the principal informed me about this. I thought I was being a good teacher. I still do not want to give up on Noora's future. What should I do? Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) This is a very touch situation. It is great that you are proud of Noora's accomplishments and hard work that she has completed this school year, and I do think it was important for you to share this with her parents. Where I think you over stepped your boundaries is when you told them that what they were doing was unfair to their daughter. It is not our place to judge a student or his/her family's culture. As an educator, it is our place to teach them to be well informed productive citizens that can function in society. I think you should continue to build and encourage her while she is in your classroom. This will have positive effects on her self-efficacy, but when it comes to her future, that is her decision to make. If the family comes to you asking for advice, then you are more free to share your concerns.