Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Unclear Future In my many years of teaching high school, I have seen all types of students. Noora, a student from Pakistan, was one of the most special students. She was definitely one of the most intelligent I have had. She also had an extraordinary work ethic and interpersonal skills. When other students in her class had difficulty with any subject, Noora was there to help them. I thought she had a very bright future. Knowing her strong skills and knowledge in math and sciences, I thought she would go to a prestigious university. One day I decided to talk to Noora about her future plans and I was shocked by what I heard. She said that two months after graduating from high school, she was going to get married to the son of a family friend. She did not seem very disturbed by this. I went to talk to Noora's parents to explain to them what a great student she was and why they should reconsider their decision to marry her at such a young age. I told them that what they were doing was unfair. The very next day Noora's family sent a formal complaint letter to my school principal stating that I was being disrespectful their culture, and that it is their business to decide their daughter's future, not the teacher's. I was devastated when the principal informed me about this. I thought I was being a good teacher. I still do not want to give up on Noora's future. What should I do? Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) In this type of situation, it is all about phrasing. I would not talk about the marriage at all with them unless they mention it first. I would hold a parent teacher conference with Noora and her parents and discuss how bright Noora is and even present them with some possible schools that she can attend based on her grades. Tell the parents about all the positive skills she has and how she could use those skills in possible future careers. Noora can still be married and have a future. Your job as the teacher is to inspire her and give her the best chance she has to succeed, and I think that going about it in a manner where you only talk about the positives and school related aspects would help Noora's parents feel like their customs are not being attacked.                 Rating The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) Yes The suggested solution is relevant to the case Yes The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement Yes The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue Yes The suggested solution is original Yes Comments: I like your solution of having a parent conference and discussing Noora's student qualities and characteristics. I think we must be very tactful when talking with parents. Parents are very sensitive when it comes to their children. I agree that unless the parents mention Noora's future marriage, a teacher should not engage in the conversation. But I feel the parent conference will definitely help solve some of the animosity that has occurred and I would ask the principal to sit in on the conference as well. Rated On: June 3, 2015 12:39 am Rated By: Tina Joiner