Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Unclear Future In my many years of teaching high school, I have seen all types of students. Noora, a student from Pakistan, was one of the most special students. She was definitely one of the most intelligent I have had. She also had an extraordinary work ethic and interpersonal skills. When other students in her class had difficulty with any subject, Noora was there to help them. I thought she had a very bright future. Knowing her strong skills and knowledge in math and sciences, I thought she would go to a prestigious university. One day I decided to talk to Noora about her future plans and I was shocked by what I heard. She said that two months after graduating from high school, she was going to get married to the son of a family friend. She did not seem very disturbed by this. I went to talk to Noora's parents to explain to them what a great student she was and why they should reconsider their decision to marry her at such a young age. I told them that what they were doing was unfair. The very next day Noora's family sent a formal complaint letter to my school principal stating that I was being disrespectful their culture, and that it is their business to decide their daughter's future, not the teacher's. I was devastated when the principal informed me about this. I thought I was being a good teacher. I still do not want to give up on Noora's future. What should I do? Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I do not think your behavior to this point has been disrespectful or out of line in the slightest. You took steps to ensure that there were lines of communication open between school, student, and parents. You made sure that the student and the student's parents were well-informed about the student's progress and what you think the student's potential is. Beyond this, I don't think there is anything you can do. The student's parents are her guardians. They have custody of her and make legal choices for her. While they can't force her to get married, this is their custom. It is her choice to follow their custom or not, though certainly it would be hard for her to deny them, sine she is no doubt totally reliant on them. I do not think it is your place to come between them, however, and I would not do it. She is not being deprived or mistreated in any way. This is their culture and wishes and should be respected. Another thing to consider - just because she gets married does not mean that her education will stop. The boy she is engaged to amrry may be intelligent as well. Plans for college may still be open. The bottom line is, I think their wishes should be respected and that you have done all you can and should.