Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Unclear Future In my many years of teaching high school, I have seen all types of students. Noora, a student from Pakistan, was one of the most special students. She was definitely one of the most intelligent I have had. She also had an extraordinary work ethic and interpersonal skills. When other students in her class had difficulty with any subject, Noora was there to help them. I thought she had a very bright future. Knowing her strong skills and knowledge in math and sciences, I thought she would go to a prestigious university. One day I decided to talk to Noora about her future plans and I was shocked by what I heard. She said that two months after graduating from high school, she was going to get married to the son of a family friend. She did not seem very disturbed by this. I went to talk to Noora's parents to explain to them what a great student she was and why they should reconsider their decision to marry her at such a young age. I told them that what they were doing was unfair. The very next day Noora's family sent a formal complaint letter to my school principal stating that I was being disrespectful their culture, and that it is their business to decide their daughter's future, not the teacher's. I was devastated when the principal informed me about this. I thought I was being a good teacher. I still do not want to give up on Noora's future. What should I do? Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) I completely understand both sides of this situation. I think that as a teacher you have to care for your students, and want what is best for them to be a good teacher. At the same time you can't over step your boundaries with students. The parents have first say in what their child does. They are family and blood. I can see why the parents got upset. I think that you should still show concern but in a less abrasive manner. I think maybe you should mention to Noora that college is important in life, and that you think she would thrive in certain schools. I would do this in a suggestive manner not in a abrasive manner. I would let her do what she has planned to do and support her decisions. I would maybe mention to her that she can get married. and go to college. I would give her several options. As for the parents, I would probably make a stop by their family home when they allow you to.I would go in and have a one on one talk with the parents. I would explain why you were concerned and also explain why you had the thoughts you had. Explain to them that you just had her best interest at heart. You just want her to thrive because she is so intelligent. I would also talk to them about alternative ways she can still get her education, but I would leave the marriage issue alone.