Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Unclear Future In my many years of teaching high school, I have seen all types of students. Noora, a student from Pakistan, was one of the most special students. She was definitely one of the most intelligent I have had. She also had an extraordinary work ethic and interpersonal skills. When other students in her class had difficulty with any subject, Noora was there to help them. I thought she had a very bright future. Knowing her strong skills and knowledge in math and sciences, I thought she would go to a prestigious university. One day I decided to talk to Noora about her future plans and I was shocked by what I heard. She said that two months after graduating from high school, she was going to get married to the son of a family friend. She did not seem very disturbed by this. I went to talk to Noora's parents to explain to them what a great student she was and why they should reconsider their decision to marry her at such a young age. I told them that what they were doing was unfair. The very next day Noora's family sent a formal complaint letter to my school principal stating that I was being disrespectful their culture, and that it is their business to decide their daughter's future, not the teacher's. I was devastated when the principal informed me about this. I thought I was being a good teacher. I still do not want to give up on Noora's future. What should I do? Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) Although personally I agree with your opinion about early marriage being a poor choice. One should also consider the deep rooted cultural implications of going against this practice. Families from cultures who practice arranged marriage have very strong beliefs and as educators we are not in a position to judge whether that practice is right or wrong. If Noora had expressed that she did not want to marry or that she was very upset, perhaps it would have been something you could have consulted with school counselor about. If she did not seem "very disturbed" then, maybe she wants to be married. If so, it is not the teacher's place to impose their personal values on the student even if she shows tremendous potential. That potential may still be achieved but not in the way that the teacher might envision. I would definitely apologize to the parents and express how much you value her intellect and admire her compassionate spirit. Her parents would probably love to hear that their daughter is admired, but ultimately, they have the right to live within their cultural norms.