Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) This is a very sensitive subject that could get better or worse for these girls. I would show films about friendships in other countries and use this opportunity to educate my classes about differences in cultures. Hopefully students will understand that this is normal in their country and be more accepting. I don't think telling the girls not to hold hands is the answer. Maybe explain to them that in our country that girls to not do that but if they choose to continue that is their choice. I would also explain to my students that making fun of students is considered "bullying" and it is not taken very lightly. They are serious consequences to this offense. Hopefully students will learn to accept the girls and their friendship. This is a very good learning experience for kids not to judge people by what they see because often things are not as they look.