Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Case: Don't Hold Hands Ade and Elsa are two 7th grade girls from Indonesia who joined our school couple months ago. I teach them Physical Science. They have well-developed English skills. Although they have an accent, they can communicate with teachers and fellow students. I am very sensitive to the needs of newly-arrived immigrant students, so I paid close attention when I heard rumors from other students about them. Students started spreading that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. Apparently Ade and Elsa heard about the rumors; they came to me in tears. I asked them to tell me what was going on. What I found out was very interesting. Ade and Elsa have known each other since they were small children and they have always been best friends. Their families decided to move to the US together. Their fathers applied for jobs in the same company. They both received offers and moved together. Ade and Elsa were excited about going to the same school in US and continuing their friendship. In Indonesia, same-gender friends holding hands is very common and indicates friendship. When children at our school saw Ade and Elsa holding hands they thought that Ade and Elsa were in a lesbian relationship. I have to do something about this. I see two options before me: I will explain to the children in my classes that friends holding hands in some cultures is completely normal, or I will tell Ade and Elsa to not hold hands to avoid these rumors. The second option seems culturally insensitive, but if Ade and Elsa continue holding hands, rumors will continue even if I explain to my students the cultural side of their friendship. What should I do? If you have an original solution to this issue, please advice. Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!) This is a very sensitive situation. I think that the core of the problem lies with two main issues: 1) classmates are not aware of the custom of holding hands in Indonesia, and 2)7th graders generally have not yet reached social maturity. In order to properly deal with the situation, the teacher must conquer both issues. First, I would privately ask Ade and Elsa if it would be ok to inform the class of their custom. If they agreed, then the teacher could make the class aware that holding hands in Indonesia is a symbol of friendship. Furthermore, this could also be used as a learning experience as everyone learns about a new culture. That would take care of the first issue. To tackle the issue of maturity amongst the students, I think that the teacher should have an open discussion about proper social behavior. This is an issue that students should be informed of, regardless of the subject. Students should be instructed that diversity is the recipe to a productive society and that spreading rumors is immature and juvenile.