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Case: Unclear Future
In my many years of teaching high school, I have seen all types of students. Noora, a student from Pakistan, was one of the most special students. She was definitely one of the most intelligent I have had. She also had an extraordinary work ethic and interpersonal skills. When other students in her class had difficulty with any subject, Noora was there to help them. I thought she had a very bright future. Knowing her strong skills and knowledge in math and sciences, I thought she would go to a prestigious university. One day I decided to talk to Noora about her future plans and I was shocked by what I heard. She said that two months after graduating from high school, she was going to get married to the son of a family friend. She did not seem very disturbed by this. I went to talk to Noora's parents to explain to them what a great student she was and why they should reconsider their decision to marry her at such a young age. I told them that what they were doing was unfair. The very next day Noora's family sent a formal complaint letter to my school principal stating that I was being disrespectful their culture, and that it is their business to decide their daughter's future, not the teacher's. I was devastated when the principal informed me about this. I thought I was being a good teacher. I still do not want to give up on Noora's future. What should I do?
Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!)
While I understand your concern, it is a part of some other cultures to marry early. I think you were right to discuss with the parents how bright Noora is, but maybe not suggest how they should plan her future. If you could discuss higher education options and opportunities with the entire class, it could plant a seed with Noora and give her some ideas. This seems to be a case of being sensitive to other cultures and not trying to force your ideals and beliefs onto them. |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree with this solution. |
| Rated On: February 25, 2015 8:09 pm |
| Rated By: aNaQev |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree, perhaps even discussing higher education options with nora, but otherwise it is best to stay out of it. |
| Rated On: May 28, 2015 5:02 pm |
| Rated By: Farhat Ahmad |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I liked the alternative of presenting college and higher careers to the whole class. |
| Rated On: May 28, 2015 10:01 pm |
| Rated By: vabehe |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I think you are right about the obligation of the teacher being to discuss her academics for the future. However, I don't think that the teacher should say anything about marrying to early. This is a very touchy subject and I think that the teacher has to respect the culture as well as support Noora by letting her know that she can do great things. |
| Rated On: May 29, 2015 12:55 am |
| Rated By: ReMuXy |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree with you that it is always a great time to communicate to parents how bright their children are. Telling parents how to raise their child, however, is never advisable. It crosses cultural boundaries implying you know better, therefore you are better creating an even greater diversity gap. It's really not an acceptable practice among comparatively similar cultures. |
| Rated On: June 1, 2015 5:21 am |
| Rated By: uqeXun |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I also agree that yes it was it was best to talk to the parents. Also, I like how you pointed out how it could have planted a seed in Noora. |
| Rated On: October 17, 2016 2:35 am |
| Rated By: Raven B |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree that students have different cultural backgrounds and the teachers should respect that. |
| Rated On: March 6, 2017 2:55 am |
| Rated By: Hasena Kurtić |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I very much agree with the poster here. It is absolutely appropriate for the teacher to contact the parents to inform them of their exceptional student. However, it is not the teacher's position to tell the parents if they are being unfair to her. More tact could be used to impress upon her parents of the opportunities she may miss out on, and the gifts she possesses. |
| Rated On: March 6, 2017 5:52 pm |
| Rated By: jyHyHy |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: |
| Rated On: October 8, 2017 9:38 pm |
| Rated By: Nick |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: It's important to approach a situation like this with caution. I would try and keep the conversation broad and not directed at her. It's her life and not everyone is set on the college life. She still has the rest of her life married or not. |
| Rated On: October 16, 2017 12:25 am |
| Rated By: eHuPas |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: If I were in this situation, I would exactly do this |
| Rated On: February 26, 2018 12:37 am |
| Rated By: DuTepy |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I would do this. |
| Rated On: March 15, 2018 1:58 pm |
| Rated By: aJaTyb |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: Discussing the issue with the parents can be helpful regardless of the age of the student. |
| Rated On: October 8, 2018 2:55 pm |
| Rated By: uQuJyh |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: This is a very sensitive issue, I totally understand the frustration, but respect others is more important in this case. Discuss some education opportunities as well as online courses might help. |
| Rated On: October 14, 2018 8:42 pm |
| Rated By: tabape |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree with this because it is overstepping to tell a family what their child's future should be. |
| Rated On: March 9, 2021 9:39 pm |
| Rated By: ezaWun |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
No
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I love the idea of using a single student to address all students in a positive way and noo invasive, but as a suggestion, i would definitely use this idea. |
| Rated On: October 25, 2021 9:40 pm |
| Rated By: Colleen Buckwalter |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: This solution addresses the problem from all angles. |
| Rated On: October 31, 2021 7:57 am |
| Rated By: aPeQyG |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree with this solution, it is hard to keep your opinions to yourself but it isn't your kid and you don't have a say in things. |
| Rated On: October 31, 2021 4:14 pm |
| Rated By: Pearl Reberkenny |
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