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Case: Her Parents or Her Boyfriend
As a high school teacher, somehow I always hated when students opened up to me and shared with me things that they could not share with anyone else. It was one of those things again when Emily, a White 11th grader, wanted to talk to me. She said she wanted to talk to me about something important and that she needed my help. I am a caring teacher, so I listened. She has been dating an African American student named Willy and she is really in love with him. Willy loves her too. They want to go to the same college and get married after graduating. The problem is Emily has not been able to tell her family about this relationship. She said that her father is not very fond of Black people, and that there is no way he would approve this relationship. She asked me to talk to her parents. I told her that I could not do it. She, then said, she would either kill herself or run away from her house if somebody did not convince her parents. I have to do something, but what? Please advice.
Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!)
I agree with one of my peers, get the school counselor involved. You are responsible for the student at this point because she has threatened suicide and this prevents you from denying knowledge of the situation.
On another note, if I knew the students parents as I should, I might consider discussing the situation with the parents, assuming I had my supervisors permission. Parents tend to be less racially prejudice in front of the public (ie a teacher) and might actually give one an opportunity to discuss the issue. One must be remindered that the chances that young adults will say committed to a relationship for five year through college is remote, unless opposition drives them together. |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: |
| Rated On: February 28, 2013 8:26 am |
| Rated By: Candice Williams |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: If I were in this situation, I would exactly do this because a school counselor will be bias and not be close to the student so they can think clearly if you invested in helping the student. It will keep you safe as well if the student makes inappropriate accusations. |
| Rated On: October 19, 2014 9:16 pm |
| Rated By: apened |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree that the teacher should seek help from a counselor and discuss the possibility of the counselor meeting with the parents as well. |
| Rated On: October 19, 2014 9:35 pm |
| Rated By: Lauren Hill |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: Getting a counselor involved is definitely the best option. Speaking with the parents is also a good idea in order to address the issues of not only the secret boyfriend, but most importantly, the suicide and runaway threats. |
| Rated On: October 21, 2014 3:16 am |
| Rated By: yVuLyR |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
No
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
No
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
No
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
No
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| The suggested solution is original |
No
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| Comments: I agree with the referral to the school counselor but am not supportive of the rest of this solution. This is an emotionally charged issue for the student, her family and the boyfriend. Whether 'facts' show these relationships do not last, their love to them is real. This along with the threat of suicide is best handled by a mental health professional. This will show support for the student |
| Rated On: October 25, 2014 7:50 pm |
| Rated By: VeHyge |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree that getting the school counselor involved is important. |
| Rated On: February 25, 2015 8:02 pm |
| Rated By: aNaQev |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: If you do have a relationship with the students parents you could possibly just be there with them as a mediator of sorts while the student tells the parents herself. Being there may help or even simply informing them that something is troubling their daughter and they may want to look into it. But getting the guidance counselor involved is a must! |
| Rated On: March 3, 2015 12:15 am |
| Rated By: eWeHaz |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree with you and i would do the same thing. |
| Rated On: October 18, 2015 5:57 am |
| Rated By: qutehu |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
No
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
No
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
No
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
No
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| The suggested solution is original |
No
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| Comments: I would not discuss the probability of the relationship lasting, that is irrelevant. Focus on the student's claim to kill herself, that is more severe. |
| Rated On: October 13, 2017 4:07 pm |
| Rated By: Lavede |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: at this point you absolutely have to contact the parents. she in under 18 and is your responsibility. additionally you could use this as an opportunity to explain the situation to the parents without suggesting what they should do about the boyfriend, but informing them that this is what was distressing her, specifically her fear about their racism. also administration and the school guidance counselor should get involved. |
| Rated On: February 22, 2020 2:28 am |
| Rated By: Vanessa Tuliau |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
No
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
No
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| The suggested solution is original |
No
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| Comments: I disagree with trying to mediate with the parents about the relationship. |
| Rated On: February 22, 2020 3:39 pm |
| Rated By: Michelle Cummings |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: good input |
| Rated On: October 18, 2020 2:48 am |
| Rated By: VePuWu |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: yes, school counselor. |
| Rated On: November 13, 2022 8:22 pm |
| Rated By: buTuDe |
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