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Case: Teacher crush
I teach special education and have an 8th grade student with autism on my caseload. His math teacher informed me recently that she thinks he has a crush on her. He is new to the school and has not made any friends but is more comfortable talking with adults than his peers. When walking to lunch, he does not walk with the class and instead walks closely beside his teacher. He also visits her between every class period and tries to give her hugs and wants to rest his head on her shoulder. One day during a restroom break, I saw him trying to take a picture of her on his cell phone. When she has talked to him about appropriate relationships between teachers and students he does not seem to understand and asks questions such as "So, are we still cool?" afterwards. When I spoke with him about it and suggested that we may have to change his class, he broke down and started crying. But is there any other way that I could handle this situation without changing his teacher?
Solution: (Rates are posted for this solution!)
Involving the parents, administration, and guidance department in this matter is going to be the best possible solution. Having the parents decide what they feel is best for their child is an important factor. I had a similar situation with one my students who has autism earlier in the year. He always told me how beautiful I was, and he always wanted to hug me (I also teach middle school). I explained to him that at this age, it is inappropriate for boys to hug their female teachers. I suggested that we use fist bumps or high fives in place of hugs toward the beginning of the year. It was a tough adjustment for him at first, but a few weeks later, he didn't seem to miss his hugs. My situation was not nearly to the point that yours is, but by working with the student to change some of his practices (hugging/laying his head on her shoulder) might help him distance himself from her if he is unable to change classes. Change is especially difficult for students with autism, but if you can work together to find a new routine/behavior with her and in that class, it might make a more lasting impression. |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I believe that this solution is the best possible answer. This teacher offered great examples that I would definitely use in a classroom. |
| Rated On: October 15, 2015 1:35 am |
| Rated By: ezuXuD |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I like that this takes in to consideration the student's autism and how well he adjusts to change. Behavior changes and getting the administration involved would be the best solution. |
| Rated On: October 18, 2015 11:47 pm |
| Rated By: eMuHub |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: I agree with this solution. |
| Rated On: February 28, 2016 3:53 am |
| Rated By: aTeRaz |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: Agreed. Parents and admin need to know, ASAP. I also like the alternatives to hugs. |
| Rated On: March 7, 2016 12:31 am |
| Rated By: teVaGu |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: If I were in this situation, I would exactly do this |
| Rated On: March 7, 2016 6:31 pm |
| Rated By: eRyber |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: Good insights and guidance! |
| Rated On: March 6, 2017 12:33 am |
| Rated By: atugym |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: This solution is a very good as it is simple and offers the student a respectful alternative that maintains the proper lines of propriety. As a previous respondent noted teachers are often easy to blame and its important to prevent lines from being blurred whenever possible. |
| Rated On: February 26, 2018 1:54 am |
| Rated By: medega |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: This is what I would do if I was in this situation. |
| Rated On: February 24, 2020 2:32 am |
| Rated By: ameteV |
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Rating
| The suggested solution is respectful of the individual (student) |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is relevant to the case |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is reasonable (easy) for the teacher to implement |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is likely to solve the problem/issue |
Yes
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| The suggested solution is original |
Yes
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| Comments: Great idea |
| Rated On: July 1, 2021 6:34 pm |
| Rated By: yTuWeG |
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