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pushy parents
There was a student in my class who had very overly involved parents. They insisted that their daughter stay after school three days a week to do extra tutoring with me even though she was already at the top of the class and did not need the extra help. they would also email me several times during the day wanting updates on how their daughter was doing. This was eating up huge portions of my time that I needed to spend with other students who need extra help. What would be a good way to deal with this situation. |
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Solution 1
Posted March 9, 2015 5:02 pm |
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Dealing with "pushy parents" can be a very "sticky" situation. First, you need to be thankful that the parents are involved with their child's schooling; even though it may be "overboard". If I was in this situation, I was handle it this way:
* discuss with the parents your beliefs that the child is not in need of extra help. However, if they insist, tell them you would be more than happy to tutor their child. Give them specific times you can tutor and make them abide to those limits.
* when it comes to updates on the student throughout the day, I would contact the parents and explain to them that you cannot spend the time continuously emailing them. Set up specific times where you can (planning, lunch, end-of-day) contact them with the updates.
If the parents cannot adhere to those desires, then refer them to an administrator at the school who can help them with their troubles. |
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Solution 2
Posted March 9, 2015 3:40 pm |
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In the beginning of the year, you need to lay out very clear guidelines for your parents. For instance:
I provide after-school help for students who are not meeting standards.
I will return emails within a 24 hour time period.
I am available to meet with parents during the following hours to discuss your child's progress. Ect...
It is always easier to prevent a problem than fix one. In the meantime, make a document that illustrates exactly how the student is doing in your class. In addition, add all of the ways you differentiate instruction for her and other students at her level. I like to send home weekly reports that show parents how their child is performing. It is simple to create an excel chart that will make graphs and charts for you. Parents just need constant reassurance that their child is doing ok.
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Solution 3
Posted March 9, 2015 5:21 pm |
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I have had this same issue in the past. You first need to thank them and show your appreciation for their parental involvement and concerns. Next, ensure the parents that their child is performing above their expectations and he or she exemplifies the model student. Talk their student up and make them feel good about their parenting and their child's academic performance. Now, you need to be very gentle in saying that there isn't much room for their child to improve academically in your classroom. Explain that they are already performing above the expectations and there are other students that really do struggle in your class. Explain that there is only one of you and you have many students that need your assistance. Suggest that their student knows the material so well that he or she may be a great asset in your classroom to help other students. Be sure to let them know that should their child begin to slip at any time, you will quickly discuss and resolve the issue. |
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This is a dream problem to have for some students. I have several students that I wish I could just get their parents in for a conference. On the other hand, too far in this direction can be problematic as well. I handled this issue with one of my students by sitting down with their parents and first going over all the positives. I explained how their child didn't need all the additional help they were wanting and explained that our students can get burnt out if they are pushed too hard. Then I found a compromise with the parents. I told them I would offer their child an enrichment opportunity each week. Meaning I would find an activity or a job that would give the student the opportunity to do additional work on something. The opportunities ranged from doing a book report or tutoring another student. The catch was, the student had to do the enrichment on their own. I would meet with them at the end of the week to go over what they had done but it was expected to be an independent activity. This gave the student the extra opportunities that the parents wanted but also gave me a chance to not be directly involved. |
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Posted on: March 10, 2015 12:32 pm
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Solution 4
Posted March 10, 2015 1:24 pm |
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This can be very frustrating to a teacher that has many other students to give attention to. I've had this problem before and I did keep regular contact with the parent, but I also just simply come up with some system that once a week, an update will be sent to them informing them of their child's update, and any assignments that will be sent home will be in a designated folder for that particular child. Any parent should understand that all attention can not go their child because we have many other students. If that doesn't work, maybe a meeting should be directed to the grade level Assistant principal. |
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Solution 5
Posted March 12, 2015 2:58 am |
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I currently have a student that has a 99 in my class and insists on taking every redo, turning in any extra credit, and coming to all of the tutoring that I offer. Her parents are not overly involved which makes the situation a bit easier, but I can certainly relate. While I agree with some of the other posts about establishing boundaries with the parents and setting up specific tutoring times, etc. What I would add is that you can use this student to help other students during the tutoring sessions. I have used my student I was talking about on a regular basis to help students that have questions she can help answer. It helps everyone in the end because she gets to talk through the work, the other students get help, and it helps alleviate some of the pressure on me. |
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Solution 6
Posted March 15, 2015 3:02 pm |
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I think being honest and understanding is the best way to deal with these types of situations. I would have explained that it was not necessary for their child to stay after school for extra help because her grades were sufficient and she was at the top the class. I would also have explained that while It is wonderful to care so much for how their daughter is doing that I may not necessarily have the time to answer e-mails throughout the day as I am preoccupied with teaching and my students. I believe it is important to be available to the needs of the parents and students but within limit. I always tell my parents they can call, e-mail, or schedule meetings if they feel it is necessary or vice versa but I definitely think being truthful (using words wisely to avoid confrontation but stand your ground too), caring and helpful are the best policies when communicating with parents. |
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Solution 7
Posted February 28, 2016 5:35 pm |
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For pushy parents, I agree with the first solution. Being firm and setting strict times that the parents can inquire about their child/receive updates as well as times you're willing to tutor their child will make them feel like you're respecting their beliefs about their child and are willing to help their child succeed. |
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Solution 8
Posted October 8, 2017 11:24 pm |
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I would implement the use of the class dojo application. The parents can utilize this app to keep up to date with the student's activities throughout the day. The teacher can award points to the student for staying on task or take away points for not being on task. The teacher should also show the student's test results/ assignments and explain how well she is doing. Like another comment mentioned it would not be a bad idea to set up certain times a day to give updates to the parents. |
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Solution 9
Posted October 12, 2015 11:28 pm |
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I would have the child tested for Gifted to see her true academic ability. If she is truly above the rest of the class, try to see if she can excel to the next grade. If the parents want her to stay after school, have her utilize her academic ability and allow her to tutor students who may need some help. |
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