Home | How It Works | Stats Login | Register         Go Back                 Case Posted on March 10, 2015 11:12 pm Add to Favorites udapum Reps: 102 Teacher crush I teach special education and have an 8th grade student with autism on my caseload. His math teacher informed me recently that she thinks he has a crush on her. He is new to the school and has not made any friends but is more comfortable talking with adults than his peers. When walking to lunch, he does not walk with the class and instead walks closely beside his teacher. He also visits her between every class period and tries to give her hugs and wants to rest his head on her shoulder. One day during a restroom break, I saw him trying to take a picture of her on his cell phone. When she has talked to him about appropriate relationships between teachers and students he does not seem to understand and asks questions such as "So, are we still cool?" afterwards. When I spoke with him about it and suggested that we may have to change his class, he broke down and started crying. But is there any other way that I could handle this situation without changing his teacher?                 Submit a Possible Solution Please read response(s) below (if any) before posting your solution.                 Solution 1 Posted March 11, 2015 2:33 pm usyvaS Reps: 100 If there has been a conversation between the student and the teacher and the behavior has not changed or improved, then the parent needs to be involved with an administrator mediator. I say this because as educators, we are always at fault. To avoid any unnecessary allegations, I would deem it important to alert the parent of the issue and the administration, so the parent could possibly talk to the young man, and the administration will have knowledge of the issue. I think this would cover all professional parties from any code of ethics violation. Votes: +32 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution ezyHes Reps: 101 I agree that all parties should know.   Posted on: March 5, 2016 7:12 pm Kathy Allen Reps: 200 I think it would be important to include the parents, at this point. After a failed conversation between teacher and student, the parents could be an important part in solving the problem.   Posted on: February 23, 2018 9:37 pm Add a Comment                 Solution 2 Posted March 12, 2015 5:52 pm buZage Reps: 100 Involving the parents, administration, and guidance department in this matter is going to be the best possible solution. Having the parents decide what they feel is best for their child is an important factor. I had a similar situation with one my students who has autism earlier in the year. He always told me how beautiful I was, and he always wanted to hug me (I also teach middle school). I explained to him that at this age, it is inappropriate for boys to hug their female teachers. I suggested that we use fist bumps or high fives in place of hugs toward the beginning of the year. It was a tough adjustment for him at first, but a few weeks later, he didn't seem to miss his hugs. My situation was not nearly to the point that yours is, but by working with the student to change some of his practices (hugging/laying his head on her shoulder) might help him distance himself from her if he is unable to change classes. Change is especially difficult for students with autism, but if you can work together to find a new routine/behavior with her and in that class, it might make a more lasting impression. Votes: +9 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution meXyHy Reps: 158 This is the best possible solution and well thought out.   Posted on: October 15, 2015 9:21 pm Add a Comment                 Solution 3 Posted September 30, 2015 6:54 pm neraXe Reps: 134 I would suggest having a male teacher have a talk with the student. Teacher student relationships should be strictly professional with no exceptions. Even though this student is new and does not have many friends yet he needs to understand that his behavior towards this teacher needs to stop. Also having the teacher herself have a talk with the student may benefit because he does admire her and may really listen to what she has to say. Votes: +2 / -10 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 4 Posted March 12, 2015 5:52 pm buZage Reps: 100 Involving the parents, administration, and guidance department in this matter is going to be the best possible solution. Having the parents decide what they feel is best for their child is an important factor. I had a similar situation with one my students who has autism earlier in the year. He always told me how beautiful I was, and he always wanted to hug me (I also teach middle school). I explained to him that at this age, it is inappropriate for boys to hug their female teachers. I suggested that we use fist bumps or high fives in place of hugs toward the beginning of the year. It was a tough adjustment for him at first, but a few weeks later, he didn't seem to miss his hugs. My situation was not nearly to the point that yours is, but by working with the student to change some of his practices (hugging/laying his head on her shoulder) might help him distance himself from her if he is unable to change classes. Change is especially difficult for students with autism, but if you can work together to find a new routine/behavior with her and in that class, it might make a more lasting impression. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 5 Posted March 15, 2015 4:52 pm XyGady Reps: 106 I think the teacher handled herself in a very professional manner. However, it may be important to inform the school counselor as well as the parent to help them get the student to understand the severity of the situation. Maybe, with additional support, the student can begin to understand the situation fully. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 6 Posted March 6, 2016 11:20 pm yLeBun Reps: 200 In this situation I would suggest getting parents and administrators involved. This situation is clearly getting out of hand and teacher needs others involved to help support what she is saying. By talking about it with others will help student understand his behavior is inappropriate and in order to continue working with this teacher his behavior must change. This will allow the student and teacher to continue working together with a better understanding and no hard feelings. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 7 Posted October 13, 2019 12:57 am VuXypu Reps: 100 I think it is a good idea to let the parents,the administration and guidance counselor know what is going on especially if there is no progress. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Solution 8 Posted October 5, 2020 3:44 pm Kenneth Allen Reps: 207 Yes.....You can handle this situation by speaking with his parents and the principal. Votes: +0 / -0 This Solution Is Useful   This Solution Is Not Useful   Comments posted for this solution Add a Comment                 Submit a Possible Solution Please read response(s) below (if any) before posting your solution.